(Courtesy Marsia Mason)
Each individual year, I do struggle with the cookie gun. Every yr, I reduce the struggle. My cookies occur out looking like objects flattened by Wile E. Coyote and a steamroller. They taste terrific, but I have never ever been able to realize the splendor of a Martha Stewart masterpiece. Maybe I ought to swap weapons. Any person have an excess caulk gun they are not working with?
The Masonites are dwindling in amount, so I have determined to do the minimalist Xmas: one particular sort of misshapen cookie, not 10 distinct varieties no outside lights a modest wreath on the front door and a partridge in a pear tree. Alternatively of decorating the household for an overall day, I expended about two hrs obtaining some of my treasures out of the attic and identified as it a holiday break.
I have truly been scaling again for years. Adult young children are not sentimental. As the a long time have trudged ahead, their interest in aiding me embellish has diminished to the place where when I carry it up, they vanish on some best-solution mission that requires a locked toilet and audio loud more than enough to mask my pleas for assist. Very last year’s genuine tree has been replaced by a 4-foot tree from Concentrate on. To make the wee impostor experience required in our barely embellished abode, we sing this track, to the tune of “Jimmy Crack Corn:”
Desk Top Tree and I really do not care …
Desk Best Tree and I really do not treatment …
Desk Best Tree and I do not treatment …
You will be back again in your box next week.
I also refrained from getting new ornaments this 12 months, with the exception of a single amazing locate at the Berlin Farmers Mart in early September. It was a pretty warm Saturday, and I was meandering with a good friend. Some times, the outdoor flea sector is exciting and the deals are very little limited of amazing. Other occasions, the aisles are loaded with determined goods, like the contents of someone’s underwear drawer mixed in with half-made use of bottles of shampoo. We were being possessing one particular of the great days.
My very first obtain of be aware was a framed portrait of the again of a woman’s head for $5. Now, clearly, this ornately framed picture was taken to illustrate some hairdresser’s way with a chignon, but it appealed to my quirky side so I snapped it up. Just when I assumed it couldn’t get any greater, I saw him.
He was waiting for me atop a battered bureau, a eyesight of Christmas on a steamy, Indian summer season day. It’s possible that’s why no 1 bought him. Then again, maybe no one purchased him since he was a hideous singing lamp put up! I wracked my mind as I stared at him, trying to bear in mind: Was he a cartoon character? An ad for some hallucinogen? My buddy just shook her head as I forked about the $10. She’s regarded me far too prolonged to question anything I do.
“Lampy” desired new batteries, so it wasn’t until eventually I acquired dwelling that I learned not only did he sing “Deck the Halls,” he finished the music with a little “doo-bee-doo-bee-doo!” Almost nothing claims Christmas at the Masons’ like doo-bee-doo-bee-doo.
He is now the king of our minimalist decorations. He sings to me at the very least after a day. I just would like I knew a very little a thing about his track record. Where was he from? What were his mothers and fathers like? Did he have siblings? Clearly, he’s a town boy, what with his jazzy supply, but I simply cannot get a repair on him. There has to be a back again story or a identify for this man.
When you have accomplished the Xmas “lite” model, the put up-New Year’s Eve take-down is extremely easy. 3 or 4 bins and it is adios to the decorations, see ya next yr. Apart from for Lampy. I just just cannot stand the considered of him shoved in the attic with all the other inanimate objects. We don’t do the tasteful-candle-in-the-window issue, so it’s possible we could go tacky with Lampy in the window, for all to see!
Readers, if everyone out there understands something about our John Doe lamp write-up, please enable me know. You will be rewarded with oddly formed cookies and tons of off-key doo-bee-doos. What superior way to devote the holiday seasons?
Marsia Mason lives in Beach Haven.